Eli and I love cheesecake. Actually, one type of cheesecake in particular. So much so that it has caused two big fights in our relationship, I kid you not. You're probably wondering why anyone would actually fight over cheesecake, but I promise you it's that good.
So, here's to our favorite story to tell now that it's in the past.
A few months into marriage I was having a rough day and my husband was working that night at the restaurant containing the best cheesecake in the world (in my opinion). I of course, with my bad day, slyly but not so subtly mentioned he should bring cheesecake home for me. He said of course he could, he'll try to remember. My excitement for this cheesecake was astronomical as it clung to those words of hope.
As the end of his shift rolls around I was already in bed, half asleep. He texts me saying he'll be home soon and has something for me. I'm so delighted but so tired at the same time that I just glance at the text without opening my phone and go back to sleep, thinking he'll wake me up when he gets home to enjoy some cheesecake with him.
When he gets home he comes in the room, sees me sleeping, and makes a decision. Instead of waking me up, he makes a calculated choice to look at my phone to see if I was awake when he texted me. Noticing that my phone still has his text on the home screen, he seizes his opportunity. Homeboy, with all the love in his heart, deletes his text from my phone so as to say he never sent it, goes into our second bedroom, and eats the cheesecake himself.
Let me repeat that: he eats the cheesecake himself and leaves me sleeping.
I'm sorry, what?!
I wake up in the morning after dreaming of cheesecake, so happy because of course he saved me some, right? He's too thoughtful to not leave me any of my favorite dessert. I walk into the kitchen, see the bag it comes in and check the fridge. But there's nothing in there. I pull things out to see if he hid it or put it in another container, but find nothing. Starting to get a little flustered, I begin my search through the apartment thinking maybe he accidentally left it out. As I'm walking around, I start to head to the bedroom to ask him and stop dead in my tracks at the door of the second bedroom.
There, left wide open and unashamed, is the empty cheesecake carton on his desk.
Full anger ensuing, I stomp into the bedroom to confront him of his dire mistake, expecting an apology and an offer to get more. There was no apology though, nor offer. His response: Man, it was delicious.
He had no shame whatsoever in enjoying it all himself.
To us, as entertaining as this story is to us now, we learned a greater lesson in our marriage through it. In a seemingly minor moment in our lives, I learned my expectations of my husband's actions can be too high sometimes. In that, bitterness can add another brick to a wall that I didn't even realize was being built unless I change my mindset. In that moment I could choose to be mad at him for something he promised me he'd do, whether small or big, or I could move forward and forgive, not holding it against him.
The bigger lesson to husbands: never promise your wife a dessert and don't deliver, no matter how late at night it is.